About love in all it's glory · Bucharest Life · For the mind and soul · Stuff · Thoughts and more

Letters to my exes (dedicated to L)

I don’t know if this was supposed to be a letter, a story or just some scribbles gathered on a cold December night, when loneliness seemed to be the only thing I can feel.

I thought (foolishly) that the wall I carefully put up 8 years ago will protect me, but it seems that even the strongest barriers fall at one point.

I realized this year that my “cold-hearted bitch” façade is just that, a façade, and that scares me, because I have never been particularly good at controlling my feelings and emotions.

You felt that, me losing my control on a warm summer night, when overcome with a stupid jealousy I wrote to you, wishing you a good life next to a non-existent wife. You told me “You have issues” and you were probably right.

My friends say that I am  fool for giving you so many chances, my mother says I should understand that some aspect of your life are more complicated and that’s why you need space.

Honestly I don’t know what to believe……………………………………………………………….

What I know with certainty is that despite my better judgment, despite my crumbling wall, I fell in love with you… or at least that’s what I believe. It’s been so long since I have allowed myself the possibility to think that, so I’m not sure what my feelings are.

But what I do know with certainty is that my heart breaks a little more every time you refuse to see me, every time you disappear, every time you don’t me over because “your place is a mess”.

Then all of a sudden you appear and I can finally breathe again.

I vividly remember all the moments that brought me here and I wonder if there was ever any chance of me getting away from you or if this was a little test from the Universe, to show me that my wall was just a silly thing, a house made of straw that you can easily blow away.

You’ve been on my mind for more than a year and in my life for the last 8 months.

I remember those first messages we exchanged, how I giggled like a teenage girl, so impressed with you and the way you were.

Fast forward a few months and here you are again, popping up in my life and silly me being polite, answering your messages, but still we didn’t see each other.

Fast forward a couple of months and suddenly it’s May 2015 and you want to see me no matter what, so you come to see a movie with me and my friends and the world seemed a good place finally. And then, that same week we go shopping and we skip like 20 relationship steps and I feel like I’ve known you my whole life and being with you is the most natural thing in the world.

Needless to say, the sex was great. We broke the couch that first night and it was one the best nights of my life!

Keeping up with the intense rhythm of our relationship, that same weekend I celebrated my birthday and you got to meet my sister and my friends and I was floating on clouds, being so happy that everything seemed to fit perfectly. You fitted in with me and my friends but then Sunday came and my little bubble of happiness was busted. You said you were going to go meet some friends and come back to me, but it took you weeks to come back.

I understand your life was complicated, but all I needed was a few messages and reassurances that I can still be part of your life.

So here we are to that summer night when I went crazy and wrote you that message that caused yet another “break”.

Fast forward a couple of months to September when you appeared again, but I was busy getting ready for my high school reunion so I decided to just be polite and keep it friendly, but in October you wanted to see me and somehow I was so spellbound by you that I decided to ignore my instincts and let you back in all over again. That’s when things got interesting… you decided to tell me your real name… You can’t imagine how hurt I was by the fact that while you were busy wowing me, you couldn’t trust me with your real name.

But silly me, I ignored this too, because of what I felt and how I felt with you.

You were honest with me, told me about your ex-fiancé and I wanted everything to be ok, so I was relaxed for a while, we made plans and I was happy.

But then you disappeared again, and I can’t sleep at night when you’re not with me and I’m afraid to tell you I miss you so much sometimes that it gets hard to breathe. With every passing day, I think it’s somehow my fault that you don’t want to see me so I wait, I hope and for now all I want is for you to come home to me, get undressed and sit naked in my bathroom while we shower and talk about our day.

 

*this letter has been written on the 3rd of December 2015

 

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About love in all it's glory · Bucharest Life · Stuff

De pe internet culese :)

La un search pe google banal despre cumnati, grade de rudenie si altele am dat peste aceasta perla: v-o redau cuvant cu cuvant, ca si scrisul ajuta la efect! 🙂

INTREBAREA:

sunt indragostita de fratele sotului meu,e pacat dk as vrea sa fiu cu el?

sun cu un barbat de 5 ani am o fetita cu el de 1,5 si de 3 ani sunt indragostita de fratele sotului meu,cu cat incerc sa il uit mai mult ma indragostesc, nu stiu ce sa mai ma fac,si el ma iubeste si chiar am avut relati de 2,3 ori pe an.

RASPUNS  de la kawa

poi…dk tot ti-ai traso cu cumnatul tau, la ce mai pusesi intrebarea?
nu cumva trebuia sa ti-o pui (pe intrebare) inainte de ,,fericitul eveniment,,?
stiai k in biblie scrie k, atunci cand ii moare barbatul, fratele lui (al barbatului) tre sa se ocupe (inclusiv sexos) de nevasta lu`fratele mort?
acuma sper sa nu intelegi sa-l omori pe barbatul tau, k sa ramai cu fratele lui!!
da` te faci si tu k nu ai inteles bine ce scria in biblie si extinzi valabilitatea celor scrise acolo si in timpul vietii sotului!

Speram ca biata femeie a gasit o rezolvare la aceasta dilema si a reusit sa aleaga un barbat 🙂 daca doriti sa vedeti comentarii ulterioare gasiti toata conversatia de pe forum aici

Bucharest Life · Campanie · Stories of all sorts · Stuff · Thoughts and more

The 5 people you meet in the hospital

I don’t think anyone should stay in a hospital, but if you ever have spend at least one week I have a few pieces of advice and a list of 5 people you can meet and should have on your side.

Advice 1: Bring a book, a tablet and a phone with a great internet plan!

Advice 2: Stock up your tablet with movies and tv shows and books if you read them on your tablet 🙂

Advice 3: Be prepared to sleep all day and all night and enjoy it!

Person 1: The head nurse, should be your best friend from the scheduling part because her attitude towards you will be the attitude you get from the rest of the nurses.

Person 2: Your roommate or roommates should be kept happy at all times either by being quiet or chatty when needed 🙂 fruit or candy doesn’t hurt either 🙂

Person 3: The doctor.  He/she will usually be nice and friendly, but you need to make sure you understand that you are not the only one in the ward so be patient and if all else fails hunt him/her down on the hallway 🙂

Person 4: The wardrobe/the cantine lady depending on how much interaction you have with them. In my case the wardrobe lady was the one I wanted to keep happy, so a little tip in her pocket was needed 😉

Person 5: Last, but not least the other people on the ward can be a wonderful source of information and should be able to help you navigate the labyrinth called the hospital. Or as my roommate says it: you’re either sociable or they make you sociable! 🙂
So my hospital experience was nice and pleasant and short, and hopefully my recovery will be just as quick and painless and I hope more people out there are having a short and pleasant hospital stay! 🙂

Bucharest Life · Campanie · Stuff · Thoughts and more

Ploua in Bucuresti

Metropotam stie cel mai bine cum sa imi insenineze serile de vineri. Intr-un articol scurt si intens descriu cam cum ne vom simti noi weekendul acesta in Bucuresti.

Si cine sa descrie mai bine sentimentele puternice care le vom simti? Personajele din Game of Thrones 🙂

Cod Galben
Drumul Taberei
Pasaj Unirii
Pasajul Unirii
Copac
Stropit
Cartela metrou

Asa ca fie daca va place ploaia sau nu, sper ca pozele sa va amuze 🙂

 

 

Bucharest Life · Stuff · Thoughts and more

Middle of the week…

It’s only Wednesday but I am already tired if this week! I need a vacation or two…

And because I have nothing better to say I will advertise my new “bad mood” song.

A fine blend of dubstep and hip hop that keeps me from hitting people in the middle of the day/week 🙂

Skrillex – Stranger:

Bucharest Life · Stuff · Thoughts and more

Friends with Benefits

Urban Dictionary defines friends with benefits as Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.

So does it work? Can two people do it?

My personal experience is limited and not as relevant since my friends with benefits were less friends and more benefits 🙂 So I went and researched just to see if my sort of new theory works.

So, easy breezy and fun works? Maybe… but my research shows it need to be an intellectual decision and not something based on passion or a strong attraction.

Nobody says that feelings won’t appear, but in order to maximize the easy breezy part and then decide if the relationship should evolve I think some rules for the first months are important.

And since I am a fan of rules so when I found this article I thought that some would definitely work for me:

1. Pick someone you wouldn’t normally date. Okay, step one. This is important. This will ensure that you don’t accidently fall in love with him, or at least postpone it for as long as possible. May I make a suggestion? Find a bro. The more Axe body spray, the better. You probably won’t be able to talk to him about politics, but who needs Obama when you’ve got your own big O to… well, you get the idea.

2. Insist that things will not get complicated. It’s just sex. What’s complicated about that? All you’re doing is engaging in the most intimate act two people can perform, on a regular basis with someone whom you’re attracted to. Things are going to be fine! You’re a single gal, taking on the big city, in control of her own destiny and making her own choices. Good luck and God speed, Carrie Bradshaw!

3. Don’t text him for any reason other than sex. Don’t make up weird excuses to text him, like how your professor was a dick today, or you saw this really sad pigeon. Keep your messages focused on future hookups only. And for that matter, keep them succinct and free of too much sexual innuendo. You never know who he’s showing these things to. Don’t say, “want to come play Majong? If not, I’m just going to have to play with myself all night” when “Come over tonight” gets the message across and saves you any future Chinese tabletop game-related embarrassment. (Source: thoughtcatalog.com)

My conclusion: have fun this summer, then wake me up when September ends and I need to think like a mature woman again 🙂